this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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