so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think I just sharted jello shots
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