good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I party with great urgency now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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