This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize