i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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