my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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