moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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