The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize