It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize