i barfeds in our rink
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize