So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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