That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My vagina is officially offended.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize