you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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