i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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