where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
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