people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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