just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize