Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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