I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You smell like stripper and shame
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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