he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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