How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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