Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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