Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize