Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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