You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
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I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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