Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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