we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize