i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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