i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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