I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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