I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
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She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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