he wants to bone in the snuggie
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
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i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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