Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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