And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
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She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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