There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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