it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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