Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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