Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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