Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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