Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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