I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize