I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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