i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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