She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize