um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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