dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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