Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize