took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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