'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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