mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize