its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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