Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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